“. . . I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” Acts 21:13
Abandonment. That's what we are called to as Christians. Nothing will hinder total abandonment to the cause of Christ more than being over-committed to our own personal cause. Allegiance to the success of our spiritual life is a sign we have not begun to be touched by the reality of the gospel. God cannot use us fully while our interest is in our own usefulness.
More than once, Paul was warned not to go to Jerusalem. Those around him knew what awaited him in that city. The feeling among the believers that he should not go was strong and widespread. The old religious stem in the capital city was fierce, they were out to stop Paul at all cost.
It was even more violent than the opposition Jesus had faced because Paul had covered more ground and made the outcome more explicit and undeniable. If Paul lived, Judaism, as it had been known for centuries, would die. Things could not go on as Paul had started. The lines were drawn, agendas were set. Paul's friends urged him not to go to Jerusalem. Understandably, they were more concerned about Paul's safety than they were about the God he unfalteringly served.
Paul was not conscious of himself. He was recklessly abandoned, totally surrendered and separated by God for one purpose - to proclaim the gospel. Paul had long since passed that point in life where his own safety was a secondary interest.
When a believer comes to a point of maturity in life, they are willing to say, "This is my call and I'm committed to it, whatever happens to me is none of my business." No one will reach that point by self-effort alone. There must be a surrender to something greater than ourselves, where we are able to view losses without anxiety or regret.
What is the limit of your abandonment? Will you let God take you beyond it?