The Work He Gives
"But from the beginning of creation God…" Mark 10:6
Marriage is messy, divorce is even messier. In both, everybody takes a side and has a reason or an excuse for their behavior. The object of keeping a marriage together or ending it is not winning the argument or leaving with the most property. The object is to do the work God gave Jesus. The work of surrender.
As Jesus nears the cross he spends time with His disciples. They hear him say "I have finished the work which You have given me to do." True and total surrender is not simply the giving up of external life, but the surrender of your will. This is the greatest crisis one will ever face because it involves giving up your right to yourself and completely trusting in the sufficiency of Jesus.
True surrender means dying to all self-justification. It means being united together with Jesus in the likeness of His death until all you want is what He desires. All the fierce anger boiling in you is not about your spouse. It's actually a call to your will to yield to His will. Jesus never forces one into surrender. He waits for each to bend their will to His. Once this battle has been fought and won, all other battles make sense.
Jesus hates what divorce does to people and Calvary is the measure of His hatred. The death of Jesus is the expression of the mind and intent of God. Jesus did the work and surrendered to the Father’s will. His death was the very reason He came.
Beware of basing your response to your spouse on the idea that you can do whatever you please because God is love and He will forgive you. That contradicts the revealed truth of God in Jesus. Never base your choice about the future of your marriage on an emotion of anger or of justification.
God does not forgive you out of pity or understanding your particular circumstance but on the basis of the surrender of Jesus. Jesus did the work God gave Him to do and you will too. The final choice in your relationship is to surrender to the will of God.
What in you is fighting against the will of God? Are you exerting your rights over His righteousness? What part does the cross play in the choices you are making about your marriage?