"…from the beginning of creation God made them…" Mark 10:6
A marriage that can be dissolved in the courts cannot be so easily dissolved in life. Divorce may end the covenant between two mates but it doesn't end the relationship. It's difficult to make it all the way out of intimate relationship. It’s possible to divide the property up and decide not to live together anymore but impossible to go back to being single. In divorce there's a part of us left behind forever intertwined.
Marriage partners are like two plants that have grown together in the same pot for many years such that their roots have become interlaced. It becomes difficult to ever separate the two neatly or completely. Even if one does, each plant has become shaped over time by the presence of the other.
One might ask, what about the memories? What do I do with the photo albums of the last twenty years? The spouse is no longer the spouse but they are kin because they remain the parents of the children. Realizing how deeply linked you are is part of the process of letting go. It's seeing that in the poisoning of the marriage, a part of each of partner is dying.
What about the children? With whom will they live? Children are the ones most affected by divorce. While they are incredibly resilient, divorce can have a devastating effect on them. They get lost in the shuffle as parents seek to work their will on one another.
In Jesus’ day women and children had no value. They contributed nothing to the economy and they were not honored. Jesus goes against the grain by identifying with the powerless, with those who have no rights, with whom most regard as insignificant.
What about Jesus? He founded a community which embraced the powerless rather than dismiss them. Divorce is like an atomic bomb that leaves deep emotional craters and strikes all kinds of innocent bystanders with the fallout. It's into our world of anger and alienation that God sent His Son to defuse.
What about Jesus? Have you factored Him into your struggle?